Every relationship has its thing and travel is Trevor and I’s. And by thing, I mean the one thing that causes an argument almost every time it’s brought up. Here’s the deal — I love to travel, Trevor does not. I have curiosities about the rest of the world, and although Trevor does too, watching YouTube videos is enough for him.
So how does one handle this hot potato? This is something I’m still working on, but after repeatedly not taking the advice I’m about to give below, I decided to take some time to really think about this issue that seems to be lingering in our relationship. This is what I’ve come up with so far:
Accept the differences in each other
Sometimes you find something out about the person you’re in a relationship with and just think, “Oh, he’ll change” or “He’ll get over that”. Well, after being with the same person for three and a half years, let me tell you, nine times out of ten, it absolutely doesn’t work that way.
It especially hasn’t been that way with travel. You assume that most people love travel, but that’s not the case and instead of forcing Trevor to enjoy something just because I do, I think I’ve learned I just have to accept that part of him. After all, he made it pretty clear to me early on in our relationship, it was just one of those things I thought would change or didn’t matter.
Don’t have the same argument over and over again
Please tell me I’m not alone in knowing that if I bring up a certain topic (travel), an argument is sure to take place? Not alone? Ok, good, thank God. Like I said above, I definitely haven’t taken my own advice on this one. I start the conversation thinking “This will be the time he finally agrees with me!” That moment has yet to happen, but by now I have learned it’s best to find the kinds of trips Trevor does want to go and run with those as far as I can (cue our two-week camping road trip).
Find a compromise
It’s not that Trevor doesn’t want to go anywhere, ever, or that he doesn’t want me to go to the places I want. He thinks I should do everything I want, he just doesn’t want to go on every trip I have piling up on my bucket list. Even though I want to have a lot of those adventures with him, it does feel good to have his support.
The compromise we’ve been able to find so far is taking trips we can both get excited about and respecting each other enough to consider not always doing things we love individually, but the things we know each other loves. (Isn’t this part of being in a relationship after all?)
Maybe that sounds like a lot of hoop jumping to some, but to me, it’s worth finding a common ground. So maybe I’ll have to travel by myself or with friends — I think there are worse things. Now, wish me luck on taking my own advice this time around.