Oh, the marriage talk. Does anyone else think it’s seriously the worst? Maybe that’s just me, but I do think it’s an important conversation to have. I know every couple is different, and everyone should do what’s right for them, but after a certain point in my relationship I just felt like I had to communicate something about getting married. Not because I was desperate for Trevor to put a ring on it (the opposite actually), but just because the foundation of our relationship is communication. Plus, I just cannot hold in my emotions, it’s just impossible for me, so if you can relate and are wondering if you should start talking, this is what I recommend.
I think there’s this misconception out there that all women are just chomping at the bit to get engaged and hounding their boyfriend day and night. If this isn’t you, communicate that to your partner. Let him know where you’re at and why you feel that way.
For me, I wasn’t sure I would ever feel the urge to get married, so when I started feeling like I did, it was really important to share that with Trevor so I could find out exactly where his heard was at with it too. My point is, we shouldn’t just assume that everyone in the early to mid-twenties is dying to get married — man or woman. Instead, talk about it.
Believe it or not, this can come from both sides of a relationship. Regardless of which one of you is ready to pull the trigger on getting engaged, don’t lay that it on your partner. I think it’s great to talk about the fact that you’re ready for an engagement, but if your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t there yet, that’s the conversation you should be focusing on.
I know I’ve written about money before, but it’s kind of a constant conversation in a relationship. As it relates to getting engaged, I think it can be a reason why some couples don’t pull the trigger and for several reasons. First, maybe they have no idea how they’re going to handle money once they get engaged/married, second, they’re afraid of the costs associated with a wedding and third, maybe one person wants a massive celebration while the other wouldn’t mind eloping and saving a bundle. These are things you’ll need to find try to find a common ground on before a proposal.
Create A Timeline
Sometimes timelines are exactly what a couple needs, sometimes they’re garbage. You don’t want to set an expectation and then when it doesn’t happen be disappointed. Then again, if you feel like you’re ready the commitment and marriage is important to you, you should talk to your partner about a timeline. It can help you both get on the same page and hopefully avoid anyone feelings getting hurt.
Like I said before, this might not be the path that works for everyone. I feel like there are a lot of people that get engaged and don’t talk about any of this stuff, and that is totally fine! I’m just a huge cheerleader for communication and think it can only make a positive impact.